this is [personal profile] delight's rTMS/depression/mental health tracking journal. it is unfiltered, mostly posted on whims, but also likely to be absolutely boring. however, due to its nature there will be no content or trigger warnings on posts: read at your own risk.

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Apr. 18th, 2022

possibility: (a flower or two)
possibility: (a flower or two)

[No Subject]

possibility: (a flower or two)
one day, fourteen hours and ... 39 minutes before mapping, which will probably be treatment day #1.

since all I have managed to do for the past four hours is cry, when I should have been in class for the last 2.5, I am even more eager than when I was passively suicidal and just wanted anything at all to change.

With the Abilify raised, I can do some things, they're just not the right things. Schoolwork is coming up on over a month late for some stuff. How does one pass a PhD like this, I wonder? (They don't, says Intrusive Thought Voice.)

Apr. 14th, 2022

possibility: (Default)
possibility: (Default)

email post test

possibility: (Default)

this is a test to make sure email posting is set up properly, because of possibly wanting to post from the chair where I will only have my phone.

possibility: (wanderlust for the armchair)
possibility: (wanderlust for the armchair)

the rTMS diaries, part 0: baseline

possibility: (wanderlust for the armchair)

Now that I've deleted or privated all the old depressive episode content in this journal.

Boring notes:
Today was the hour-long pre-treatment evaluation; it went well. Talked more about PSTD than we probably should've stayed on but he was genuinely interested. Dr. H is now on my list of doctors I really enjoy talking to which is probably good for a psychiatrist. (Technically he's a nurse, too! He is a DNP.)

PHQ-9 today: 23
MDI today: 38