three for better days

one day, fourteen hours and ... 39 minutes before mapping, which will probably be treatment day #1.

since all I have managed to do for the past four hours is cry, when I should have been in class for the last 2.5, I am even more eager than when I was passively suicidal and just wanted anything at all to change.

With the Abilify raised, I can do some things, they're just not the right things. Schoolwork is coming up on over a month late for some stuff. How does one pass a PhD like this, I wonder? (They don't, says Intrusive Thought Voice.)

this is a test to make sure email posting is set up properly, because of possibly wanting to post from the chair where I will only have my phone.

Now that I've deleted or privated all the old depressive episode content in this journal.

Boring notes:
Today was the hour-long pre-treatment evaluation; it went well. Talked more about PSTD than we probably should've stayed on but he was genuinely interested. Dr. H is now on my list of doctors I really enjoy talking to which is probably good for a psychiatrist. (Technically he's a nurse, too! He is a DNP.)

PHQ-9 today: 23
MDI today: 38